I felt lost. God had asked me to step back from everything I was passionate about. I struggled to see how this fit in to my church and my life. Saying “no” at every turn was so unlike me and yet, as I withdrew, my focus moved to my family. My full term baby was born with underdeveloped lungs. My husband needed a more devoted wife. My children were growing with lightning speed. My reluctant obedience became a blessing as God removed all of the extra things in my life to focus on what I had. What remained was my original calling, to be a wife and mother.
For four years, they have been my sole focus and my soul focus. My baby girl healed beautifully after a NICU stay. Our family transitioned through job changes and moving twice. My husband and I committed to building a stronger marriage. I am so thankful for the time I had to tend to their lives, helping them adjust to numerous changes.
Throughout that time, I waited for my passion for women’s ministry to die. I felt that if my calling was temporary and God didn’t want me to pursue it, the yearning would just cease. That never happened. I missed bonding with and teaching the women of my church desperately, but I knew my greater calling was with my family.
Our most recent transition to from Virginia to Louisiana was the true test of my path as a wife and mother. Investing in my loved ones, keeping my attitude in check, and building a home in a new place brought me to my knees with the realization that “God’s got this”. All of this. My four year hiatus was a preparation for our move and what I would encounter in the bayou.
In Exodus 2, Jochebed placed her baby in the basket with the full knowledge that “God’s got this”. She knew God wouldn’t work until she let go. He had greater things in store for what she so dearly loved and wanted to hold on to. Jochebed had no idea the call God would place before her son. I had no idea what God was going to do with this passion that I had abandoned, but still burned within me. It wasn’t until we moved to Louisiana that he began to give me glimpses of what was to come.
to be continued…
Leah Lively 