Yesterday, I wrote a completely different post. I struggled with the entire thing. It couldn’t find my voice and it just didn’t seem real. So, I am starting over, even if it means the post goes out later than normal. My “Tuesdays at 2pm” goal will just have to change for today. My desire for the words that come out of me are to only be real, true, and from the most vulnerable places. Being open makes some people nervous, but I am here to say that for me to be the opposite feels fake and fluffy. I don’t do fake and fluffy.
So, here is the new post. It’s not pretty, nor is it tied neatly with a bow, but it is real and vulnerable, the only way that feels like me.
Weary is my current season. It’s been my current season off an on for the past couple of years. Navigating chronic illness with my fifteen year old is a contributing factor. Being a mom to a 13, 8, and 6 year old is another piece. Managing our home and a writing career, supporting my husband and keeping my focus where it should be is the rest. Easy Peasy.
I know some of you can relate. You are in your own season of weariness. It was a feeling I never knew until I became a mother. I always liken it to being an octopus and everyone pulling a different tentacle. Whoever pulls harder that day, gets the most of me. When the kids were little, I could physically feel the strain. Babies and toddlers have physical needs that are so demanding, your body is ready to collapse. As the children grow more independent, the physical exhaustion turns to mental and emotional. While you have prepared them to function in society by teaching them to use the toilet and not eat like a complete slob, the teenage years are spent listening to their heart struggles and helping them grow into somewhat productive adults.
Guess what? God can relate too. The entire Old Testament is centered around God “raising” the Israelites from spiritual infancy. He cared for their physical needs by releasing them from bondage, feeding them in the desert, and taking them to the promised land; to their adult years helping them strive towards holiness and remain focused on their relationship with Him.
The Israelites liked God when would do things for them, but when it was their turn to walk in His ways, to follow His instructions, and to be obedient they struggled. It was a cycle that went on for hundreds of years: OBEY, BLESSINGS, DISOBEY, HARDSHIP. Finally, God’s anger would take the Israelties into captivity and their Promised Land would be destroyed. Reading about it all makes me weary, but God didn’t get weary.
Isaiah was one of the many prophets who was sent by God to tell the people of their impending doom of slavery. The people dared to cry out to Isaiah: “Why is God hidden from us? Why is He ignoring us?”
Isaiah responds: “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He is never becomes faint or weary, there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the faint and strengthens the powerless.” (Isaiah 40:28-29) In God’s kindness, He had Isaiah reassure the people that in this difficult time, they had to run to Him in their weariness. Only God could give them the strength to walk through their time of captivity until they could return to their land.
I am so thankful, God is everything I am not. When I am in a season of weariness, I must draw on the strength of the One who isn’t. By spending time in prayer and reading God’s Word, He reassures me of His promises to give me strength to get through the day on only a few hours of sleep and sick kids at home.
While I am in this season of weariness, I have to spend time sowing in God’s presence. While the next season may not be as demanding, my relationship with God will prepare me for whatever comes next. The abundant harvest of strength from spending time with Him each day will carry me into the next season.
Hold on to God’s promises. Hold on to his strength. We’ll get through this weary season together.