Truly, I don’t. In the grand scope of the world, I know very little. I know enough to help my middle school daughters with homework, yet I still find myself taking a refresher course on Google to figure out how to find y in terms of x. However, I consider myself a lifelong student studying daily, devouring words and tapping them out in essay form. Praying one day these words would be put to some use.
My studying this week came to a screeching halt. I am deep in the book of Romans. One of the least pretty letters of the New Testament. By that I mean it wasn’t written to sugar coat the gospel. It was written to bruise and scrape our toes. Causing deep reflection of this faith its readers claim.
From my Bible study notes, this question arose: “Why would God present His own Son as a sacrifice of atonement and how can you express your gratitude for such great love?”
There are so many Sunday School answers that could suffice. My four year old would shout “God! Jesus!”, pretty much covering the gamut.
In reality, there are no words.
Lord, you know how I behaved yesterday. You know that crushing text I mistakenly sent. You know how my anger got the better of me.
But Still…you presented your son as a sacrifice…
As a parent, I can honestly say I would die for each of my children. Even when they are little monsters. Even when they are the most mischievous or seem to take up the quest to argue with me over every detail of their lives. I would sacrifice myself over and over.
But, the knowledge that my Creator, my Father, did that for ME.
He didn’t give me the chance to say, “No, God…”, “But wait…”, “I don’t deserve…”
He just loves me that much.
He just loves you that much.
Done. It is finished.
Now, how will I respond? Continue living my life for me? Making decisions based on my happiness? How does that live a life of gratitude for such a great sacrifice?
Its a lot to think about. Its a lot to weigh me down for the rest of my life.
But that’s not the intention. God poured out such immense love on us, that we should overflow with His love and pour it out on others.
How can that be a burden? Its not meant to be. Its a lifting, life giving kind of love. He laid down his life for us in order for us to give life to others.
I don’t have to have an answer for everything. Mr. Google and I will endure middle school and high school math.
But for everything else…I’m pretty sure the answer is LOVE.
7 thoughts on “I Don’t Pretend to Know Everything…”
Great as always!! Are you doing BSF??
Thank you Judy. Yes, I am in BSF. Enjoying the depth of study and the sore toes.
I truly appreciate it when others admit to not knowing everything (I’m right there with you!) – but what a gift! It allows room for grace and learning. Thanks, Leah!
Thanks for reading, Amy! I try not to assume that I do for fear that I will get humbled very soon!
I too don’t know everything! Sometimes it is freeing, and often it is humbling. But how awesome is God’s grace in it all? Thanks for sharing this part of your journey.
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Thanks for reading, Melissa!
Yes, it’s the difference between the head answer and the heart answer. It can be a lot easier to come up with a head answer than a heart response!